Have you suffered the loss of a loved one, or loved ones?

Is your heart broken?

Do you feel deeply sad, and maybe even devastated? Are you experiencing a sense of heaviness?

Are you constantly reminded of the loss?

Do you dread holidays and birthdays? Have you avoided doing anything with the belongings of your loved one? Have you stopped doing activities you used to enjoy together because it would be too painful?

Do you feel like people don’t understand? Or care?

Do people tell you it’s time to “move on” and “let go.” Are you ever told “you should be over it by now?”

Were there unjust or unfair circumstances?

Maybe even lack of resolution, and answers you do not have?

Perhaps people are not talking? Or information is not being shared?

Are there circumstances you need to know, though cannot know because the person is no longer with you?

Do you worry things will never be the same? Like life will never be the same? Maybe even like you can’t go on without them?

Imagine Healing

Picture a wound that is fresh (I know, sorry but please bear with me). There are stages of healing. There are conditions that allow for healing, and conditions that slow healing. In this example, most of us would agree that we would like for the wound to turn to a scar. It would take how long it takes, and we would do the best we could to care of the wound along the way. Once healed, the scar would still be there, and even be tender to the touch—though healing occurred. There is evidence the body is beginning to heal itself.

With grief, you and I can explore what healing might look like, and envision that together. Then, we will become clear on the conditions that prevent or slow down healing. We will rush nothing, though also be curious about any “rocks,” “scratching,” “Itching,” or “lack of fresh air” might be occurring.

If you choose me as a partner in this work

You may wonder if I would get it? Do I understand what it’s like? It may even be that part of you doesn’t want to work through the pain of looking at the wound, cleaning it out, rebandaging it, and then taking excellent care of it (metaphorically speaking).

Unfortunately for me, I do get it (different context and circumstance, though I have tasted the loss of very important people), and have done this the wrong way. I have also learned so very much personally, and professionally.

I am well aware of the optimal conditions for healing, and the common culprits that contaminate the healing process. I am well equipped and willing to sit with your pain and be present to it with kindness and compassion.

It is not my job to take away the pain of loss. The pain of Ioss—when great love is present—cannot be avoided. If we choose to love with our whole hearts, we live knowing we will one day lose that person should we live long enough. And, if people choose to love us, we could be lost to them (meaning they too will hurt when we move one). Without love, there is no pain associated with loss. Love is part of the human design, and because of love we get sadness when someone cherished is lost. This is normal, natural, and unavoidable. I can, however, help you transform sadness and move it from a wound to a scar. I can also help you view sadness through a very different lens which may create a context where healing is more likely to occur.